Alligazm

I’m baaaaaack. It wasn’t AS horrible as I thought, but extremely painful. So painful that the thought of smoking cigarettes was…. unthinkable. It is a shame that such a life changing procedure has assisted in me quitting smoking. Yes, it’s wonderful that I have decided to cut that out, but it would have been nice to do it without reason- I’m just that kinda gal I’ve realized. The “trich”-ness has gone away- WOA! I strongly believe the 2 go hand in hand. What a battle… every day, almost 15 year “killing” spree. Don’t want to go in to too much detail, but oh my gosh are things so clear lately. Tears shed when I think of how bad I treated myself. Moving forward —->
I went to see Indu, a beautiful, older Indian, in my world a GOD right now, and ladies hands down threading is the way to go… not down there, unless you’re in to freaky shit like that. The pain was more excruciating than the after surgery pain. Imagine having a tatoo from the inside out. One would think that from the damage I’d done, all the hairs would just fall out, bot nope.. I was-a-CRYING! I can’t wait to go back. wink wink

Tomorrow, March 12, is THEEEE day! I am totally not freaking out right now, NOT. Now it is in my nature to be a “what if”-er, but I have never had it hit me as hard as now. What if this is the last time I eat my delicious salads? Polish my nails? Speak to a few friends? This is just the minuscule “what if”s- I am sure you can imagine the major, hard hitting ones running through my head every second, bringing tears to my eyes. Nervous wreck, that’s me! On top of it all, I’m thinking: should I be making a list of what goes to who??? Or a folder with all my passwords and pin #’s? Or should I write a little letter of my life? CRAZY TALK I know I know. But hey, I did my research, and the Doc performing the myomectomy is quite famous.

Yes, I am having a mega huge fibroid (as if I’m 5 mo. prego) removed tomorrow… 7:30 a.m. I know people have gone through worse things, but to me this is a big deal mainly cuz of the amount of blood I’ll lose- no reason to worry, right? AAAAAAAGGGHHHH! First thing on my to do list when I arrive in the a.m. is: DRUGS- I want to laugh and laugh til I go under anesthesia lol

Gotta pack the to-go baggie….